Sometimes we just have to be willing to say, “I’m not willing.” Sometimes, “No”, “Enough”, or “Stop” are the ultimate of empowering words. Sometimes these words are the “bunker busters” of long-suffering relationships, or rut-comfortable situations. Sometimes, clarity, and the courage of expressed and acted out intention will rock the world around us, eventually, changing it for the better. Radical honesty can be uncomfortable, but never allow “toxic” to become your “new normal”. Think of it this way. If you’re suffering with a relationship or situation, likely, everyone connected with you is too. Sometimes saying, “I’m not willing”, and really meaning it, is the most courageous and loving thing we can do. I know that sounds odd, but if you think it through, it won’t seem as negative as it sounds. Saying, “I’m not willing” will end relationships and situations as they exist, but sometimes, thanks to courageous love, they have an opportunity to “reset” and begin in a fresh, new way. How about you? Are you going the way of courageous love? What relationship characteristics or situations are you “not willing” to endure for even one more day? Take action! You’ll be glad you did.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Simply Encouraging® Stories & Narratives to Brighten Your Day, and Make Your Relationships Bright™!

Beware of what your relational “default settings” become, and this is what I mean. When you open a blank “Word” or “Pages” document, it always opens to the exact same font, line spacing, and pagination as it always does. You can make changes, but if you don’t save them and really lock them in, the next time you open a blank document, there you are, one more time, working hard to execute the changes that make the document pleasing to you. Relationships can take on their own default settings over time, all on their own, and it’s typically not in the direction of “good”. Every relationship starts with positive settings, but add years of career pressure, the stress of kids, financial or health challenges (the list goes on) and the “new normal” can become pretty empty and devoid of life. I help couples “reset” and come back from the pit, but believe me, it’s a painful and arduous journey. The better path is to agree on the “page settings” you want, the ideal default settings you desire, and then work every single day, mindfully and purposefully to keep them in place. Keep ever setting, resetting, and locking them in. Believe me, it’s far easier to maintain a positive relationship than it is to “reset” a negative one. Some suggestions for your relationship default settings are grace, encouragement, Simple Encouragement, playfulness, shared spirituality, and the exercise of corporate faith. Do this work consistently, day-by-day, and each morning when you open the “blank document” of your relationship, it will be guaranteed to open in a very satisfying way. I promise!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Simply Encouraging® Stories & Narratives to Brighten Your Day, and Make Your Relationships Bright™!

Doesn’t it really bother you when people are disrespectful? I know, but don’t give it too much power; they’re just acting the way you do, sometimes. And at least their rudeness frees you from having to show them respect, right? Wrong! I know, the common understanding is that people have to “earn” our respect, but I respectfully disagree. I think of respect as a personal outlook that we develop, or we don’t, and a commodity that we give freely to all, or not so much. This means that we show respect to all people, regardless, simply because that’s the kind of person we have decided to be. Respect sees people as precious, no matter what package they come in, and as incredibly worthy and full of potential. It’s amazing what can be found deep within another when we search them with the right heart. Don’t wait for people to earn your respect, cultivate it on the inside, and then give it freely. Instead of insisting on it, act upon it, and then watch the magic begin. I am, as always, respectfully yours.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Simply Encouraging® Stories & Narratives to Brighten Your Day, and Make Your Relationships Bright™!

I’ve long said, “Life is a series of ‘Hellos’ and ‘Goodbyes’, and the sooner we learn to do it gracefully, the better”. How do you handle the transitions of people coming and going in your life? Is it smooth and easy, hard and bumpy, or an emotional “white-knuckle” express? We tend to think of “Hellos” and “Goodbyes” in absolute terms, but it’s not that black-and-white. We’ve all had those brand-new relationships where the “Goodbye” at night felt like the end of the world, even though we knew the next “Hello” was only hours away in the morning. We say “Hello” and “Goodbye” to the various phases of life, and to the coming and going developmental stages of children as they grow. See how that works? Every “Hello” leads to a “Goodbye”, and I believe that every “Goodbye” leads to a new “Hello”, eventually, and that’s hope! Simple Encouragement® is graceful and hopeful as life ebbs and flows. Go ahead and jump in the stream! The water is just fine.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Simply Encouraging® Stories & Narratives to Brighten Your Day, and Make Your Relationships Bright!™

More than a state of gratitude within oneself, “Thank you” is a statement of deep connection with another. “Thank you” conveys humility, surprise, and perhaps a little bit of awe. After all, it’s always “awesome” when someone delivers on our desires before we’re fully aware of their existence. “Thank you” acknowledges that, “I let go, and your love took hold!” It’s a statement of childlike excitement, celebrating the giver as much as the gift. Yes, I think it’s better to give than receive, but think it through. What better gift is there than “Thank you” expressed from a heart of delight?

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

I recall a very dark period of time when my heart was broken, my faith had run out, and I’ll never forget the incredible expression of caring that caressed my despairing heart.

“I know it’s horrible for you right now, and your grief is fine with me. I’m here, and I’m going to have hope for you until your hope returns.” 

Those words carried such acceptance, power, and comfort. Somehow, they created a pinpoint of light in the midst of my black experience. This is a perfect example of “Speaking healing to pain”, one aspect of the Simple Encouragement® Trilogy. 

Never be afraid of the despairing, grieving, or lost people upon your path. Just be with them in quiet love. If you need words, and they should always be few, then now you have a “script”. 

You see, encouragement is putting “heart” into the “heart” of others. By “heart” I mean “courage”, and by “heart” I mean “soul”. A few heartfelt words touched my life with a seed of courage that tipped the outcome of my trial towards victory.

You can do this! Please, take the “script” as your own, and always remember, "Hearts filled with courage can rise to any challenge".

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Someone told me, affectionately, that I was a “pain”. I immediately shot back with, “I’m not a ‘pain’, I’m a gentle stimulant in the ‘oyster’ of your group. Eventually, I’ll help you to produce a beautiful pearl!” Don’t settle for the status quo! You have a great brain and a playful spirit, use them to gently stimulate growth in everyone and everything around you. We’re all here to create life and most times, that process requires a little bit of friction. Please, don’t be afraid to stir things up, creating pearls! Eventually, people will love you for it.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

If “Plan A” fails, there’s always “Plan B”, right?  Well, not so fast! Now I’m thinking that if “Plan A” failed, then it wasn’t the “A-Plan” we thought it was after all, was it? If you’re struggling with the tatters of lesser plans, learn from them, and then let them go. Handled with enough grace, this process will always allow the “A-Plan”, the true “Plan A”, to emerge in victory! Remember, your dream has you, you don’t have it, and it will never give up!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

This mini-blog first emerged as a “Simple e-Couragement”. It received such a strong response that I decided to post it here as an official Simply Encouraging® Blog. If you don’t receive them, you can subscribe to “e-Couragements” at the link above.

Frustration! I’m having to deal with a completely fresh start, on my computer at least. After years of laying one updated “operating system” on top of another, something went wrong. I have to totally erase my hard drive, install a fresh “operating system” and then “cherry pick” the data I want to add back in. 

So now I’m thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to do that with my brain! In some respects that might be good, but we simply don’t get to do an “erase & install” on our lives. We don’t get to neatly “route out” our bad judgments, poor choices, or negative experiences. And as I think about it, I’m glad that it’s this way for us “human-types”. Every mistake is precious if we will just face them in the light, and we would lose so much if we could neatly erase them all, somewhere off in the shadows.

The process of learning from our mistakes actually has a wonderful effect. If I’m willing to face my “corrupted files”, understand them, and invite them to higher ground, then I grow in faith, character, and maturity. This can be a very scary process, but what incredible rewards! 

We try to “erase & install” in a gazillion ways, but we just end up doing more damage until our lives don’t work anymore. You know, kind of like my computer. Listen, I don’t like my “pockets of corruption” any more than you like yours. I’m just suggesting that if we’re willing to “Speak light to darkness”, then we can gain so much. 

Never fear your “corruption”. I know it’s there, and I love you anyway! And I deeply respect your courage to shine a light into it, learn from it, and grow in wonderful ways. Stop placing corruption upon corruption! You’re not a series of products that are good or bad. You’re SO MUCH MORE than that! You’re in the process of becoming more beautiful.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

I love to see surprise in motion. I love to see the reactions that come with it!  “I never imagined I would be rich!” “I never dreamed I could own a home!” “I never saw myself with a college degree!” The list goes on, and you’ve all experienced this phenomenon. Perhaps there is a “Law of Attraction” that serves to make specific things happen for people, but certainly, given all the "never's", there is a “Principle of Surprise” that thrills to delight us in unexpected ways. This “Principle of Surprise” loves to visit from time-to-time, inviting us all to live in anticipation of things we could never have seen in our mind's eye, dreamed of, or imagined for our lives. And who knows? Today could be YOUR day for a visit! Be on the lookout for good and surprising things. 

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.