It was one of those moments when I said, “Awwww, we’re just little fish in a great big pond.” Without hesitation my wife said, “Woohoo! We have room to grow!” And you know what? She was right! So here is my question to you. Right here and right now, where do you have room to grow? Come on, you know the answer! You just heard that tiny, little voice deep on the inside telling you exactly what you need to be doing differently, and precisely how to do it. My simple resolution this year is to get real comfortable with “that voice”. In fact, I’m even giving myself a “double dog dare” to do a lot of what it says! How about you?

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Do you ever make statements that even you have to examine to see if they make sense? It happens to me, a lot! Here is a recent example. “If it’s become an issue, then it’s an issue!” Let me explain. Do you know anyone who ignored those extra pounds of weight until they morphed into a diagnosis of high cholesterol, diabetes, or a heart attack? What about parents who intend to find time for their kids tomorrow, but have to bail them out of Juvenile Hall today! Have you ever seen anyone neglect their spirituality until they receive “the call” that a loved one is in ICU, and then they struggle to find prayers that prove their faith? In all three examples, the real issue is the denial, busyness, and neglect that led up to “the” issue. See what I mean, “If it’s become an issue, then it’s an issue!” First, there is twilight, then there’s dusk, and then it gets dark. Sometimes, it gets very dark. So, what issues are you missing while they’re still in the twilight or dusk stages? Just as I’m “speaking light to darkness” for you, please pass the favor along. We all need a friend who’s got us covered. What do you think?

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Sometimes we feel bound by fate. Other times we claim free will. It may seem like we’re powerless, yet power can flow from our release. Why do we cling to “either/or” when we can have it all? Can you hold the tension of loving someone you’re angry with? Do you dare to give it away when you feel like you don’t have enough? Life is far too clever to be a paradox. I try to choose “the mystery of both” because it sets me free! Encouraged people embrace mystery. They’re playfully comfortable with what they don’t know. They claim strength in weakness. They give and they love, just because they can. Encouraged people are mysterious folks! What do you think?

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

I listen for evidence of subtle passion and unrecognized talent. I experience others with the goal of discovering those very characteristics, unique and special, that they barely see as anything more than their typical routine. I spoke with a woman who loves the quiet solitude of painting nature scenes. For her, painting is transcendent, and the process makes her whole. She told me how people love her creations, and she declines their considerable offers of money to possess them. For her, it’s just what she does in life, as if everyone is capable of the very same talent. When I suggested that she set up an online studio so everyone could buy and enjoy her work, she seemed disoriented, telling me that people wouldn’t like what she does enough to spend money for it. Clearly, she didn’t even hear what she had just shared! Today, she conducts a successful art concern, doing what she loves, and thrives at it. If we’re willing to connect with others in a spirit of loving engagement, everyone has these incredible diamonds in the soil of their being, just ready for mining. And guess what? You have the gift to give the “gift”! I wonder if you really knew that.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

The next time you find yourself in an argument, here are some things to remember. First, facts don’t trump beliefs. If there’s a disagreement, it’s likely to be about what the parties believe, and not about any one point of fact. Simply put, we are “wired” to receive facts that support our beliefs, and to discard those that don’t. And if that point isn’t powerful enough, consider this. When we press facts that are contrary to a defensive belief system, they only serve to make that belief system stronger! Do yourself a favor, and give that one some very deep thought. People have a serious investment in their sense of mastery and self-esteem, which brings me to the second point. If people feel competent and good about themselves, then they are more likely to accept new ideas. It’s a profound knowing that building people up makes them receptive to new information, while proving them wrong closes their minds. The question of whether you would rather be “right” or “effective” is quite wise to ask, and the bottom line is this. Argument to the detriment of relationship will always be foolish, so try to think of it this way. If you passionately build others up, then they just might grow curious about your point of view!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

One of my favorite personal quotes is, “True love is curious, and cares to the point of action”. This is because I think of love as a verb, so in my mind, love has two action qualities. First, true love searches souls with incredible curiosity. You know, kind of like headlights cutting through the darkness of a misty night, revealing all kinds of unseen things. Another word for this is “cherishing”. Second, true love connects with others in a spirit of loving engagement. It takes action in words or deeds. True love is an attitude of loving engagement, so it not only notices, but it also wades in and gets its hands dirty! Everyone thinks of themselves as a “loving person”, but here’s the test. At the end of any given day, can you look back over your shoulder and find love’s revelation in the terrain that you covered? Begin to do this exercise, and make a list each evening. As the list begins to grow, your sense of personal significance and worth will skyrocket to incredible heights! I promise.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

I go to my office and work very hard. Day by day, I pour myself out. I simply love the sacred place that others grant me in their journeys to healing and growth. As with most people, an invitation into the heart of another brings out incredible diligence within me. At times, I can feel a bit weary, but I press on, because this is what we do in cherishing relationships. As I readied myself for another day, I received “the call”. Our office had no power! In fact, the cable coming into the building set on fire, and it was burned out. After a flurry of phone calls and emails, I had plenty of time to ponder the message in the event. No matter how aware that we think we are, it’s likely that we’re spending too much energy, and going into debt. Oh, the signs are always there if we dare to notice. Those loving invitations to pull back into balance are always whispering, but the voice is subtle. Yes, the voice is gentle until one day the call comes, and there’s no power. The cable bringing new life into our souls has burned out! How are you doing today? Take a few deep breaths and give it some thought. Perhaps a respite today will prevent “the call” tomorrow.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

From where I write at my desk, I look out of the window at beautiful treetops, clear blue sky, and bright sunshine. It’s truly a wonderful scene. Looking down, I see a small turnaround lane for emergency vehicles, and it bothers me when people occasionally park there. I think it’s because it detracts from the nature view, as well as the practical reason for its existence in the first place. As I was working, I noticed a car parked right there; you got it, in the emergency lane! I wrote, struggled with the car, wrote some more and then struggled even more in an ever-deepening cycle of distraction over “those inconsiderate people”. I mean, after all, what if my house was burning down or something! I finally got up (perhaps to discover if I could smell smoke or see flames) when I heard some voices coming from downstairs. It turns out that my wife was talking with a friend who had come to visit, and get this; it was the friend who had left her car parked “right there” in the middle of my serenity! And to add insult to injury, it turns out that we were the infamous “inconsiderate people” of my misguided imagination. I thought to myself, “Thomas, you’re sure a ‘funny’ person”, but wait! Before you entertain even one more thought, please allow me to interject that I think you’re “funny” too! Hey, we’re all “funny” people. I’m ever-learning to simply relax and “enjoy the ride” with all of my “funny” friends. Care to join us?

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

He said, “I’m not going to let the little things get in the way of my doing the big things.” I knew her well enough to believe that she was thinking, “And I’m not going to let the big things get in the way of my doing the little things.” Now whether this was leading up to a difficult standoff, or if it was the beginning of a successful collaboration, I’ll leave to your imagination. Whether we tend to see the big picture or the minute details of our situations is a matter of individual “wiring”. Some people see a glass of champagne, while others count and analyze the bubbles! We will always have the extremes, and everything in between, but here’s the question. Do you choose up sides and dispute the differences, or do you realize that all around you is a perfect team that can handle every aspect of every dream that you ever want to achieve? I know that sometimes our dreams, goals, and challenges can make us feel overwhelmed and alone, but if you look around with anticipation, hidden resources will reveal themselves at every turn. I believe that, do you?

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

There’s a special sunlight that wants to shine through our lives to warm others, but we’re in charge of the “cloud cover”. On some days we can be “hazy”, letting people know the sun is there, but that it won’t be breaking through our fuzziness. This creates a state of “gloomy”. On stressful days, we can be “dark and stormy” complete with thunder and lightening. This leaves people to wonder if the sun exists at all, since it creates a state of “angst”. On better days, we can be “fair and bright” accentuating the sun with a contrast of deep blue sky and billowy white clouds. This creates a state of “let’s go outside and play!” Look over the days ahead and forecast the conditions that you want to create. Like the proverbial “weather man”, you won’t be perfect in your predictions, but you’ll have more “clear and sunny” days if you take the time to make a forecast! Remember, a special light wants to shine through you providing warmth to the world, and that’s a very special mission. Help those around you to be bright! They are your reflection.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.