I’m thinking of the things that people “try to be”. Whole industries are built upon them. Fortunes are made! Think about it. People “try to be” happy. Folks “try to be” motivated. Do you ever “try to be” important? What about those who “try to be” powerful. Here’s a good one. Do you “try to be” good? Well, if logic serves me, I have some really bad news for those who “try to be”. You can’t! If you “attempt, strive, and endeavor” (try) then you’re going to find it difficult “to occur naturally, or remain as before” (be). You simply can’t “try” to “be”. I mean, if you “try to be” and you only end up frustrated then I have to ask, “Why try?” Oh, please, don’t get me wrong. The process of becoming is a beautiful thing! It’s graceful and it occurs almost imperceptibly, kind of like a flower growing in a beautiful field. Yet, the flower only reaches for the sun out of the nature that was in its seed. The flower never strays from the root that gives reason for its being. So here’s the point. No matter how much you try to change by any means, it can only be real if you continue to “remain as before”. Yes, really ponder that one. We all have a seed of “essence” and if we receive it, embrace it, and enjoy it just as it is, it expands by giving us graceful doses of “try”. This is the process of becoming, when the “be” within comes naturally into fullness through telling us where to “try" in some small way. Our job is to listen closely, and then follow naturally. I think this makes sense. What do you think? 

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The next time you find yourself in an argument, here are some things to remember. First, facts don’t trump beliefs. If there’s a disagreement, it’s likely to be about what the parties believe, and not about any one point of fact. Simply put, we are “wired” to receive facts that support our beliefs, and to discard those that don’t. And if that point isn’t powerful enough, consider this. When we press facts that are contrary to a defensive belief system, they only serve to make that belief system stronger! Do yourself a favor, and give that one some very deep thought. People have a serious investment in their sense of mastery and self-esteem, which brings me to the second point. If people feel competent and good about themselves, then they are more likely to accept new ideas. It’s a profound knowing that building people up makes them receptive to new information, while proving them wrong closes their minds. The question of whether you would rather be “right” or “effective” is quite wise to ask, and the bottom line is this. Argument to the detriment of relationship will always be foolish, so try to think of it this way. If you passionately build others up, then they just might grow curious about your point of view!

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One of my favorite personal quotes is, “True love is curious, and cares to the point of action”. This is because I think of love as a verb, so in my mind, love has two action qualities. First, true love searches souls with incredible curiosity. You know, kind of like headlights cutting through the darkness of a misty night, revealing all kinds of unseen things. Another word for this is “cherishing”. Second, true love connects with others in a spirit of loving engagement. It takes action in words or deeds. True love is an attitude of loving engagement, so it not only notices, but it also wades in and gets its hands dirty! Everyone thinks of themselves as a “loving person”, but here’s the test. At the end of any given day, can you look back over your shoulder and find love’s revelation in the terrain that you covered? Begin to do this exercise, and make a list each evening. As the list begins to grow, your sense of personal significance and worth will skyrocket to incredible heights! I promise.

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When I work with groups, I often do an exercise in “Proactive Self-Definition.” It’s a moving experience that helps people become more aware of the inner guides that shape their lives. I ask people to think of that one person from over the span of their entire lifetime that they would most like to be like. I love to watch the reflections in their eyes, and waves of emotion crossing their faces as they arrive upon the “one.” 

I then ask them to give me five descriptive words or phrases that would tell me how this “most special person” treated them. I often hear adjectives like “loving,” “gentle,” and “caring.” Typical comments are “They really knew and believed in me,” “They were always there in the tough times,” and “They accepted me, no matter what.” Very often I hear these people described as “heroes,” “angels,” and yes, “leaders”. 

”Isn’t that interesting? The people that these folks are subtly patterning their lives after didn’t necessarily have important titles, big salaries, or large offices with degrees on the wall. Many of these leaders had no semblance of authority whatsoever yet, years later, they continue to wield great influence in the lives  of those that they touched. 

There’s a term for this kind of leading influence, and it’s called Simply Encouraging Leadership. The ability to influence someone’s highest expression over time is the essence of this unique form of love. Simply Encouraging Leaders cherish people in the context of intimate relationships. Rather than standing above others, they seek to know, and to be known. It’s through this knowing that Simply Encouraging Leaders not only cheer up and praise, but speak “life to potential, healing to pain, and light to darkness” for those around them. Because they genuinely love, Simply Encouraging Leaders are able to bring “life, healing, and light” to the hearts of those entrusted to their care. 

Simply Encouraging Leaders walk with the people they lead, shoulder-to-shoulder, and they are prone to see more in others than they see in themselves. They build people up in a way that brings out their hidden talents and gifts, and they are present in ways that heal limiting emotional wounds. These “heroes” offer acceptance and grace that breaks the bondage of shame that creates a glass ceiling on the expression of one’s greatest spirit. 

What I am describing is a worldview that I call “Simple Encouragement®,” and Simply Encouraging Leaders do it instinctively. Through this special way of being and relating, Simply Encouraging Leaders leave behind “giants” that change the world, and their only legacy may be a “sacred home” in the hearts of a handful. And if you really think about it, that’s a legacy that would leave anyone resting in a very sweet peace. 

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He said, “I’m not going to let the little things get in the way of my doing the big things.” I knew her well enough to believe that she was thinking, “And I’m not going to let the big things get in the way of my doing the little things.” Now whether this was leading up to a difficult standoff, or if it was the beginning of a successful collaboration, I’ll leave to your imagination. Whether we tend to see the big picture or the minute details of our situations is a matter of individual “wiring”. Some people see a glass of champagne, while others count and analyze the bubbles! We will always have the extremes, and everything in between, but here’s the question. Do you choose up sides and dispute the differences, or do you realize that all around you is a perfect team that can handle every aspect of every dream that you ever want to achieve? I know that sometimes our dreams, goals, and challenges can make us feel overwhelmed and alone, but if you look around with anticipation, hidden resources will reveal themselves at every turn. I believe that, do you?

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There’s a special sunlight that wants to shine through our lives to warm others, but we’re in charge of the “cloud cover”. On some days we can be “hazy”, letting people know the sun is there, but that it won’t be breaking through our fuzziness. This creates a state of “gloomy”. On stressful days, we can be “dark and stormy” complete with thunder and lightening. This leaves people to wonder if the sun exists at all, since it creates a state of “angst”. On better days, we can be “fair and bright” accentuating the sun with a contrast of deep blue sky and billowy white clouds. This creates a state of “let’s go outside and play!” Look over the days ahead and forecast the conditions that you want to create. Like the proverbial “weather man”, you won’t be perfect in your predictions, but you’ll have more “clear and sunny” days if you take the time to make a forecast! Remember, a special light wants to shine through you providing warmth to the world, and that’s a very special mission. Help those around you to be bright! They are your reflection.

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As I hear the difficult and painful experiences of others, I listen closely for their “narrative”. A narrative is a deeply embedded story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Woven through the narrative is a theme made up of core conclusions about one’s self, life, and relationships that have emerged as a result of the challenge or hurt. As you might expect, depending on the amount of pain, the theme can become a rather limiting tune to which one dances for a very long time. I listen closely to the stories I hear because every painful narrative begs a new ending that is fresh and expansive. Every story of hurt is seeking a positive tune to which its essence can begin to move, and we’re a part of the dance! We become a part of this wonderful process by simply listening to the story with a heart that cares. If we’re listening for “the deepest desire of the heart”, then we’ll know instinctively when to ask a brief but powerful question, and the question is, “And now?” You see, the story is being told in the first place because it’s an “incomplete experience”. The question “And now?” invites a brand new theme that satisfies with a victorious note of closure, once and for all. Whatever you’re dealing with from the past, or challenged with in the present moment, I ask of you, “And now?” Fill your answers with playful sounds of love, hope, and positive outcomes. It’s your life, dance joyfully!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Some of the most powerfully encouraging statements begin with two simple words, and the words are  “I notice...” “I notice” says so much. “I” means my essence, my heart, and the whole of me. “Notice” implies an active desire to seek, “to know”, and to connect. “I notice...” says that “The heart of me cares to know the essence of you”. In fact, “I notice” that you’re on my website reading these thoughts, and that’s simply encouraging! Thank you so much for being a part of the Simple Encouragement Movement. I hope that you’ll take your loving heart, these two simple words, and make an incredible difference in someone’s life, sometime soon!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Playfulness is a wonderful state of being that embodies freedom and ease. It knows no obstacles because its energy receives challenges with creativity and hope. The moral compass of playfulness is simple in its purity and love. Playfulness has a childlike nature that always maintains an outlook of innocence. Sure, some things in life are serious, but we don’t have to be afraid. Playfulness knows no fear because encouragement is its steady companion. If we engage the shadows of life with a playful spirit, our friend encouragement will always be right there with us, and hearts filled with courage can rise to any challenge!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Spring is a time of renewal both for nature, and for the human soul. This is a time of year when we see new life budding everywhere we turn! Yet, with all of these blossoms and the promise of their harvest, we must never forget the quiet roots giving them permission to be. For every fresh victory blossoming within your heart, there have been many encouragers along the way. Take time to remember and celebrate each and every one. This is the place where the hopeful blossom and the seemingly dormant root always hold hands.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.