You’ve all heard the expressions when someone exhibits a particular interest, potential, or passion. She’s going to be the next “this person”, or he’s going to be the next “that person”. As for me, I don’t want to be “the next” anyone! I mean, why would I want to do that? I’m having way too much fun in the process of becoming “the very first me”! I’m so grateful that you’re here reading this and becoming “the very first you”. Keep becoming the unique and special being that you’re here to be, and never, ever settle for anything less. Remember, you have the freedom to become the very best you that you can be!

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If “Plan A” fails, there’s always “Plan B”, right?  Well, not so fast! Now I’m thinking that if “Plan A” failed, then it wasn’t the “A-Plan” we thought it was after all, was it? If you’re struggling with the tatters of lesser plans, learn from them, and then let them go. Handled with enough grace, this process will always allow the “A-Plan”, the true “Plan A”, to emerge in victory! Remember, your dream has you, you don’t have it, and it will never give up!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

This mini-blog first emerged as a “Simple e-Couragement”. It received such a strong response that I decided to post it here as an official Simply Encouraging® Blog. If you don’t receive them, you can subscribe to “e-Couragements” at the link above.

Frustration! I’m having to deal with a completely fresh start, on my computer at least. After years of laying one updated “operating system” on top of another, something went wrong. I have to totally erase my hard drive, install a fresh “operating system” and then “cherry pick” the data I want to add back in. 

So now I’m thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to do that with my brain! In some respects that might be good, but we simply don’t get to do an “erase & install” on our lives. We don’t get to neatly “route out” our bad judgments, poor choices, or negative experiences. And as I think about it, I’m glad that it’s this way for us “human-types”. Every mistake is precious if we will just face them in the light, and we would lose so much if we could neatly erase them all, somewhere off in the shadows.

The process of learning from our mistakes actually has a wonderful effect. If I’m willing to face my “corrupted files”, understand them, and invite them to higher ground, then I grow in faith, character, and maturity. This can be a very scary process, but what incredible rewards! 

We try to “erase & install” in a gazillion ways, but we just end up doing more damage until our lives don’t work anymore. You know, kind of like my computer. Listen, I don’t like my “pockets of corruption” any more than you like yours. I’m just suggesting that if we’re willing to “Speak light to darkness”, then we can gain so much. 

Never fear your “corruption”. I know it’s there, and I love you anyway! And I deeply respect your courage to shine a light into it, learn from it, and grow in wonderful ways. Stop placing corruption upon corruption! You’re not a series of products that are good or bad. You’re SO MUCH MORE than that! You’re in the process of becoming more beautiful.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

I search for the essence of people. You know, that intrinsic, irreducible element that makes them special. Essence only reveals itself in relationship, and as a verb. Of course, a verb is a word that expresses an action defining the connection between two or more people. Verbs have something specific to do, an impact to make, and life to share. Verb-Essence is so special that when it flashes from beneath the swirling dust cloud of otherwise messy humanity, you experience it in a profound and deep way. It’s there inside of a newborn baby, it’s there upon the face that wears a hundred years, and it’s there within every human being of every age. Deep on the inside, you have an intrinsic and indispensable quality that only you can bring to this time, and to this place. This is your essence! You definitely have it, and it’s right there, right about where you place your hand over your heart. Your essence gains expression in so many ways and now, it just needs a name. Breathe, ponder, and watch what you do that lights other people up on a consistent basis. Eventually, this laser-like energy will reveal its name, and your life will take on new meaning. You will join the “movers and shakers” of the world, and that’s a wonderful tribe to belong to. We always know who they are because they express essence, and essence always compels others with its graceful, life-giving power. 

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“You know, I think I’m going to make it through another day!” This is what I find myself saying when people ask the perfunctory, “How are you?” I like it because it seems to draw folks from a state of “minimum gesture” into maximum engagement. You have to admit, my answer does create a certain dissonance, like an odd chord in a beautiful symphony. Is it cynical, or hopeful? Is it flippant, or sincere? Is it dismissive, or reaching? The answers to these three questions depend upon the heart with which the statement derives, so here’s what I think. It’s hopeful because it has the entire day covered with victory. It’s sincere because it’s what I truly believe deep on the inside. It’s reaching since I think the statement ends with an invitation to share in an atmosphere of caring. Can we get any better than “hopeful of victory”, “sincerity of belief”, and “reaching that cares”? I genuinely do think I’m going to make it through another day, but it’s really more than that. I want to live my moments victoriously, faithfully, and deeply connected with others. How about you?

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Is it good or bad? Right or wrong? Healthy or dysfunctional? The true answer can only come from one’s conscience and typically, if the question appears, then the conscience has already spoken. While these black-and-white questions seeking answers on the outside only cloud and confuse, there is a question that settles all arguments, once and for all, and it’s this. “Is it beneficial?” Are your thoughts, feelings, actions, and relationships beneficial to having a sense of peace deep on the inside? It seems to me that this grace-filled question carries with it empowerment that speaks “Life to potential, healing to pain, and light to darkness”. Is it beneficial? I love that question! It’s so gracefully guiding. It seems to love me and if you give it a chance, it will love you too.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

The next time you find yourself in an argument, here are some things to remember. First, facts don’t trump beliefs. If there’s a disagreement, it’s likely to be about what the parties believe, and not about any one point of fact. Simply put, we are “wired” to receive facts that support our beliefs, and to discard those that don’t. And if that point isn’t powerful enough, consider this. When we press facts that are contrary to a defensive belief system, they only serve to make that belief system stronger! Do yourself a favor, and give that one some very deep thought. People have a serious investment in their sense of mastery and self-esteem, which brings me to the second point. If people feel competent and good about themselves, then they are more likely to accept new ideas. It’s a profound knowing that building people up makes them receptive to new information, while proving them wrong closes their minds. The question of whether you would rather be “right” or “effective” is quite wise to ask, and the bottom line is this. Argument to the detriment of relationship will always be foolish, so try to think of it this way. If you passionately build others up, then they just might grow curious about your point of view!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

Are you unrealistically positive in your self-perceptions? Do you view the future in an overly optimistic way? Does your sense of control over circumstances seem greater than reality might dictate? If you answered “Yes” to these questions then you’re probably more caring, productive, and satisfied than the average person. Yes, “positive illusions” are good for us and to create them, we have to “spin” small portions of “fact” into “semi-related fiction”. To “spin” is the tendency to control our narratives in order to portray things in a favorable light, but here’s the key. We have to stand “as if” we are in the shoes of our “created realities” without completely losing the “as if” quality. Happy people consult regularly with their inner “spin doctors”, so perhaps it’s time to schedule a series of visits with yours! “Dr. Spin” will remind you that imagination blended with large doses of positive anticipation is a powerful force. Go ahead, “Spin it, believe it, and make it real!” Feels kind of good, doesn’t it.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

One of my favorite personal quotes is, “True love is curious, and cares to the point of action”. This is because I think of love as a verb, so in my mind, love has two action qualities. First, true love searches souls with incredible curiosity. You know, kind of like headlights cutting through the darkness of a misty night, revealing all kinds of unseen things. Another word for this is “cherishing”. Second, true love connects with others in a spirit of loving engagement. It takes action in words or deeds. True love is an attitude of loving engagement, so it not only notices, but it also wades in and gets its hands dirty! Everyone thinks of themselves as a “loving person”, but here’s the test. At the end of any given day, can you look back over your shoulder and find love’s revelation in the terrain that you covered? Begin to do this exercise, and make a list each evening. As the list begins to grow, your sense of personal significance and worth will skyrocket to incredible heights! I promise.

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.

As I hear the difficult and painful experiences of others, I listen closely for their “narrative”. A narrative is a deeply embedded story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Woven through the narrative is a theme made up of core conclusions about one’s self, life, and relationships that have emerged as a result of the challenge or hurt. As you might expect, depending on the amount of pain, the theme can become a rather limiting tune to which one dances for a very long time. I listen closely to the stories I hear because every painful narrative begs a new ending that is fresh and expansive. Every story of hurt is seeking a positive tune to which its essence can begin to move, and we’re a part of the dance! We become a part of this wonderful process by simply listening to the story with a heart that cares. If we’re listening for “the deepest desire of the heart”, then we’ll know instinctively when to ask a brief but powerful question, and the question is, “And now?” You see, the story is being told in the first place because it’s an “incomplete experience”. The question “And now?” invites a brand new theme that satisfies with a victorious note of closure, once and for all. Whatever you’re dealing with from the past, or challenged with in the present moment, I ask of you, “And now?” Fill your answers with playful sounds of love, hope, and positive outcomes. It’s your life, dance joyfully!

Simple Encouragement and Simply Encouraging are Trademarks of Simple E Creations, Inc.